Feelings?: Fighting, waiting.....

I have more issues than I could possibly count. And on my worse days, I'll go for happy to sad in seconds. I won't always like myself. BUT. I just wanted to know that I'll never care how for I push myself away because when I told myself that I would stay. I meant it I'm a little lose and a little damaged, but I'm not HOPELESS. I know who I am are, I love who I'm are and that's why I'm stay so I learn to know myself too.

You know that feeling?

At some point you realize you have done too much . When you're just waiting. Waiting to get home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day, that feeling of relief and desperation. Nothing is wrong. But nothing is right either. And you're tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. And you just want someone to be there and tell you it's okay. But no one's going to be these. And you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you're tired of waiting. Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else. Tired of being strong. And for once you just want it to be easy. To be simple. To be helped. To be saved. But you know you won't be. But you're still hoping. And you're staying strong and fighting with tears in your eyes. You're fighting....

What i found: Scared, Failed life, Sorrow, Belong, Solution, Me!!

Why be scared of somebody who's not even a part of your life? We have just one life, you know? And if we think about other people'shappiness in that onelife.. then when will we live for our own happiness? You don't owe an explanation to anybody. You just have to accept yourself. The only explanation you owe is to yourself and if you feel something is ' right then it is right'. Love yourself, accept yourself the you are.

I had a job, a college degree, successful status in my around people and so successful  daughter too. But no body knows I'm a failed human, Ifailedso many times that I lost count, too depress go to work. My life is complete failure.Why be in a successful profession and a failed life? You feel like that because your profession (working, living life style) is governed by the society. Don’t think so much. You know what you want right? You know what gives you happiness. We did everything to be happy. And if we are not happy what we doing then we started to seek for happiness elsewhere. It's my right.Why do I stop running, Why do I stop follow dreams. Something so beautiful, so peaceful, something that is mine. Why do we give up that things we loved just because people criticized ? You, me and we are all incomplete people. The way we is part of actually who you am are. And I shouldn't be embarrassed about any part of me. "Ever". I have to go somewhere else , where I belong.

" Do I think I'll be able to be happy

 after making so many people sad? Can I keep other's

happy be making myself sad?"

I was running, to find me, trying to find out the place where i belong, but thoseflash backs: I've hurt so many people, to be happy. Do I think I'll be able to be happy after making so many people sad? Can I keep other's happy be making myself sad? But I I want to be truly happy, so have to bear sorrow for a while. Pain is the only truth. So I'm in it.  Finding solution for future in the past is not the answer. If something wasn't right then there was a reason behind it. The idea is not to fix it, but to move on. A fresh start, a new beginning. Don’t look happiness in the trash on of old memories. We have no choice but to make new ones. Even a happy memory makes sad when we remember it.

All the win on scared of me, so successful failed life, that pain of flash backs. I finally found me.Everyday I'm falling more in love with the women I'm becoming, the dreams I'm pursuing and the legacy I'll be leaving.When I think about all the hurts, pain, regret, deceit and struggle I've endured, it makes me even more grateful to be standing, dancing, and running down this path now.

judgement is only own inner satisfaction.

Judgmental trap

A week before i was on the way to Lucknow India. The season of monsoon, roads are so busy. I always prefer window seat and luckily got what i expected. When we reached near Baraharich bus operator stop the bus and send his bus helper to shop to buy#GUTKAA (this what sound hit my ear) and may be other things. The bus was there for around 7-8 min. Suddunly my eyes stop on#Sadhu who totally cover her body by orange color cloths full print of ॐ and he carried what all sadhus carry. He was standing in front of shop what i saw is that he beat dog which is sitting near to him. He again repeated this. Now what !! my mind suddenly runs for judgment. In that few minutes my mind judge him like how cruel he is, he have no mercury, its raining the dog also need some place to make itself safe. May he called himself sadhu but i am not seeing any qualities of it in him. " Then suddenly what i saw that sadhu put down some biscuits. The dog didn't saw he was just trying to make dog to feed.

In every daily life, in small talk, arguments or in any thing every people are in trap of judgement. we judge what we see but we don't even make a tiny try to understand why or how its happens. We started thinking peoples character by our own way. But remember what we judge, think of other its not they its our own character and its fact what we judge is not for other its own character/thinking capacity's judgments.

" Judgments prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances." - Wayne Dyer

How beautifully he described thousand explanation/examples in one line. judgement is only own inner satisfaction. Don't go by rumors or what you see, before giving opinion know the both side story.

Also a someone's #WISDOM.

Someone's Wisdom

But hold on!! Did you ever feel!!  your wisdom. " Your untold, unseen, into you,  originally only yours wisdom.

All the win on scared , so successful failed life, that pain of flash backs.The idea is not to fix it, but to move on. A fresh start, a new beginning is Also a someone's #WISDOM. In this busy life, and successful search we only think Wisdom is success. But hold on!! Did you ever feel!! your wisdom. " Your untold, unseen, into you, originally only yours wisdom.  In this half robotic era we human pretend as most strong insight of our live. Did you ever sit on a couch with a cup of tea and give for self time. We always go through other lives.

Wisdom word is it self a huge definition. In this global each people each definition have. Here, how our mind is swallow reach people or successful share is Wisdom.

You know what gives you happiness. We did everything to be happy. And if we are not happy what we doing then we started to seek for happiness elsewhere. It's my right.Why do I stop running, Why do I stop follow dreams. Something so beautiful, so peaceful, something that is mine. Why do we give up that things we loved just because people criticized our wisdom.Who looks outside, dreams, who looks inside, awakes.If you're trying to achieve, figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it,that is the possibility we want from the future.

not actually anti-social.”

How much anti-social?

You are not ambitious. Not very talkative. Can't easily mix with others. Not too shine. Are you antisocial? Are you weak, Are you curious, Are you serious , Of course not !!. These behaviors are not bad in themselves. Nor does it show that you are weak. Some people don't like the frills. It is uncomfortable to stay in the crowd. They are solitary. They may even be shy. Can be introverted. They are about to enjoy themselves in their own world.

No one has the habit of jumping, dancing, drinking. Similarly, they cannot stay all night out. Then some have similar physical problems. Some have family pressure. When friends prepare for a gathering somewhere, they do not attend such a gathering. Such people are rejected by their friends by tagging 'anti-social', 'not mixing', 'incompatible' with their friends.

This is how their nature is. That is what tends to be. From a friend's point of view, it may show a lack of weakness. However, from his point of view, there are weaknesses in their friends.Exactly how many people are introverted. Can't mix with many. Though they are thoughtful. Calm down They don't want to spend the night with others. Having this kind of nature is not a problem. Not a trait.That's the quality.

“Staying home talking necessarily only is not

 actually anti-social.”

Such people are responsible for the family. Are sensitive, take care of time.The second person does not have to agree on what we think, what we do. We all have  own nature, own control. In fact, being introverted is also a good quality. They are a delight to be alone.Staying home talking necessarily only is not actually anti-social. Such people are sensitive and responsible in any work.

often do we go wrong…

How does speaking others, how others behave, affect you? Suppose you disagree with someone, what will you do? What do you do if you do not agree with someone's behavior?

The answer is, you respond, that is. It is human nature to protest against something that is unacceptable to us and not belongs to ourselves. However, some of us may not be as we thought. What we think is right may not be right. What It can only be seen through our eyes. Our perception or understanding may differ.

Because most of us do not look at things as neutral. Before we look at anything, we make up our mind about it. Therefore, what our eyes see is right, our mind looks different. We try to interpret and analyze it according to our perception. We may not be in the right place at this time. We may be standing in the wrong place and saying the wrong thing right. We are not clear on how to look at anything.Most of the time we focus on ourselves. By focusing our interests, our knowledge and so on, we focus our attention on anything.

Our biased views

From our ethnicity, region, caste, geography, community to political views, our views are also biased. Looking at anything, analyzing it does not allow us to be impartial. We are more inclined towards our ethnicity, region, caste, geography, community, party etc. That is why we can’t be fair.

We also develop our perception as we see the second person. The manner or the angle at which the person is to be seen is not done. You look according to your perception. So, according to people, our relationships and behaviors will vary.

In fact, we are alone. Everyone is alone. It is not appropriate for us to be prejudiced and prejudiced against anyone. All should have the same attitude, fearless approach. It may be that our behavior is not compatible with some people. There may be a dispute over the transaction. Or we may disagree on some theoretical issues. It is not fair to claim that others are wrong or bad.

Let's look at everything and determine the distance

Everything in the world has its own point of view. There are certain distances. Looking at the right angles and certain distances, everything is in place. All are beautiful. All is well. All good. However, when our view is distorted, the world starts to look ugly. Must be kept open. Then it looks right.

“In fact, our perception and viewpoint is bad, then everything looks bad.”

If we look at ourselves incorrectly, it is our fault. But, we blame others. We look bad to others. In all of this we never fall into the trap of being one of our own. In fact, our perception and viewpoint is bad, then everything looks bad.

There are seven billion people in the world. Everyone's interests and opinions are different. Everyone's behavior is different. Not everyone is the same. So we have to accept this diversity. We should also respect the views, ideas, thoughts and thoughts of others.

happiness is the beauty of the world.

"Because we feel that happiness is in the material realm, which brings us happiness. We don't need money to be happy."

We want to get high marks in the exam, want to have a good job, want to be satisfied with material comforts, want our own home, our own car. Relatives, friends and friends want to have a prosperous relationship with all. Why?

Because from all of this we want to find happiness. All our efforts and expectations are the same destination, happiness. In addition, we want have foods, dress well. That means happiness.

Happiness is the power of life and beauty  but where and how is happiness found?  We think money makes happiness. Wealth gives happiness. Yes, it makes our life easier. It solves our problems and problems. Makes life somewhat comfortable. So these are mediums, not sources.

Money will bring happiness, while the wealthiest will be the happiest in the world. While there is no difference in the happiness of the world's wealthiest and the one who lives on a pavement. Therefore, neither the wealth nor the poor,  the amount of happiness is same. Neither powerful nor weak, happiness is the same. What is even more striking is that happiness is not out of us. We are our own source of happiness. Happiness is not by buying or asking, its immense resources. Really no material, object or achievement is happiness. Not a source of happiness. Happiness is within us.

Happiness is a human behavior, a tendency. We are always on the lookout for happiness. We are also losing happiness in search of happiness. Because we feel that happiness is in the material realm, which brings us happiness. We don't need money to be happy. No need for ash rum. No need for dessert food. To be happy is to realize that only its source is within itself. When we are happy, cheerful, then the environment around us is also good. . Happiness extends to happiness.

When we are in a state of happiness, our minds are calm. The brain is stable. We are quick It eliminates disorders of the body. Happiness reduces the level of anger, hate. That is, our psyche is washed away.

So we should be happy. The happiness we have with ourselves. We must develop a tendency to be happy with small achievements, even small things. Because happiness is the beauty of the world.